Feeling down – What’s wrong with me?

4249063283_ca27184cee_oI haven’t really wrote on my journey in SL for a while but I feel that RL shouldn’t completely be separated. Your emotions in RL reflects how you are in SL. So I am going to try and write more. In SL, just like RL there are individuals who look to SL for an escapism. This is fine, but sometimes you have to look at RL and see if there are areas of improvement that can be made. Do you need to work out more? Do you need to set time aside to be with your loved ones? Go for a walk and take in the beautiful nature around you and appreciate God’s creation of Mother earth.

Lately I have been dealing with a weird set of emotions. I cry more often, I’m smiling less and I’m constantly picking at areas in my life that I’m not happy with. I don’t know whats going on with me, but this is how I’m feeling.

It started around a month ago where I was not happy with my weight. I used to be at the gym minimum 4 times a week, but of lately I just have not had the motivation. My boyfriend suggested that we should go to gym together as we can use this time to motivate each other. I thought this was a great idea and I was up for it! Two days after going gym, I fractured my foot and was on crutches and an aircast boot for a few weeks. Work wouldn’t allow me to work from home (I am a contractor so if you are off you don’t get paid), so I lost out on some money. I had to force myself into work and order Ubers which would cost me around £60 a pay, £300 for the week. The pain I was feeling was frustrating and I found myself becoming more and more miserable. My daughter and my boyfriend were the two closet people who helped me with anything I needed. They also were the closest people who would get the brunt of my frustration.

I am recovering well now, being back to work with no crutches has been a relief. Its also a relief that I no longer need to book an Über. I am back on public transport.

Now that I have overcome that slight bump in the road, I need to find things that will bring back my happiness. Its annoying because I have a good loving group of people around me. My boyfriend who I love dearly and can’t wait to marry, my daughter, family and friends are all wonderful too. I just don’t know why I keep feeling down. I really hope this kind of emotion shakes off me soon as I feel I am a walking empty shell right now. Just watching life pass me by.

I feel its important to be transparent as I am the kind of person who will always have a smile regardless of the issues I am dealing with behind closed doors. Right now, I feel that if I’m down, I’m down and I will no longer hide it.

Hopefully I will figure it out or maybe I will just embrace this feeling, deal with it and keep it moving. However my life pans out, I’m human. Im not perfect, just a woman who is trying to work things out.

Enjoy your weekend.

Rory x

 

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